Little Lost Boy
by SeleneBrennan
Summary: AU Set right after Beckett is shot and wakes up in the hospital. She has a little secret, how will Castle take it?
1. Chapter 1

I felt heavy as I slowly came back to myself. The first thing I noticed was one of my hands was warmer than the other. I tried to remember what that could mean, but nothing definite was coming to me. Next came the beeping of machines, which could only mean one thing I was in a hospital. Again I tried to remember why I was here. All that came was _'I love you, I love you Kate.' _ It just kept repeating over and over. I tried opening my eyes, eventually I saw that I was in a hospital bed and that none other than my partner was there holding my hand as he was sitting in a hard plastic chair, slouched over my bed. He looked like he had been through hell. I was staring at him as I once again tried to remember, when suddenly his hand tightened in mine and his head jerked up. It took him a moment to realize that I too was awake, but when he did I saw the immediate relief spread over his features.

"Hey"

"Hey yourself"

"What happened? Why am I here? How bad is it?"

"Kate, what is the last thing you remember?"

"I remember the four of us at my apartment the morning before the day of the funeral. We talked about keeping Montgomery's secret between us. Then I picked Nikolai up and we went to the park. We stayed there for the rest of the day, went to Remy's for dinner. Then I dropped him off, and went home you came over and we talked till the morning. You left and I got ready for the funeral. We carried the casket to the grave, and then it's all blank."

"Kate, you were shot while you were giving your speech at the funeral. You have been unconscious for three days; the bullet only just missed your heart. The doctors say that you are lucky to be alive. And before you ask they didn't get him, but, the boys have been working non-stop to get him. They put protective details on everyone, but you and me."

"Why don't we have a protective detail?" I asked. I noticed that my pain level was increasing, and knew that soon a nurse would come in and give me more medication, but I wanted to finish this conversation before then. "Wait…" Castle looked up at the machine as it started beeping faster. "…Does my dad have a detail?"

"Kate, calm down he does. He was the first one to get one." He watched as the beeping slowed back down to normal. "And we do have a detail but not from the precinct, it's a private company that I hired. You and I both have two guards at all times, mother and Alexis have one. The boys and I thought it would be a good idea because we didn't know how far this thing goes."

Just then the nurse came in. "Is everything alright in here? I got a message you heart rate spiked." She looked between us and added, "It's almost time for more pain medication if you want it."

I shook my head and told her no. She left with one parting message to Castle not to upset me again. I looked back over at Castle and noticed he looked like he was thinking about something hard. "What is it Castle, what's wrong?"

He looked over at me. "Kate, why did you get so upset about the detail on your father, I mean I know that you love him and he is the only family you have left," I winced, "but you were more upset than if it were just him. Kate, who is Nikolai?" As soon as he said the words I flinched. I had known that one day I would have to tell him, but I had hoped that it would be under better circumstances. As I looked into his eyes I knew that if I didn't tell him the truth now I might lose him forever, and I was not prepared for that.

"I have a better idea, is my phone here? I need to call my dad." He hands me his phone.

"I was going to call him and tell him you are awake." I nod and take the phone. I look over as I dial and see that he is both curious and a little hurt about what is going on. But the truth is I just don't have the strength to tell him exactly who Nikolai is. I'm not ashamed of him, but of myself and wonder how he will see me when all is said and done.

"Dad? Hey, it's me. I'm fine dad, I'm ok. No dad Rick is here with me. I need to see him. Can you bring him here? Dad please, I need to see him. No dad I do trust you, but I need to see him for myself. I need to know. Thanks dad, I love you too. See you soon, bye."

I handed Castle his phone with a thanks and shyly met his gaze. "I want to tell you Castle, but if you can wait just a little longer it will all make sense. Before they get here there are some things that I should tell you. The beginning of the story if you will." I sighed. This was going to be harder than I thought, I had been awake all of ten minutes and already I felt like I had run a marathon. "It all started about seven years ago. My mother was dead and my father was as good as gone also. I had finished the academy and was almost a detective. My 'sister' from Kiev, was getting married and wanted me to come. I agreed and flew over there for the wedding and a visit. Everything was fine until the day of the wedding." My breathing hitched as I recalled that day and what I was feeling. Castle reached out, grabbed my hand and gave it a small squeeze. I tried to give him a small smile. "The ceremony was prefect, and she was so beautiful. She just had this glow Castle, and when I saw her look at him. It was just like how my mom used to look at my dad. I lost it, I got so drunk after the reception, and I don't even remember what happened. Next thing I knew I was waking up in some random guy's bed. I learned later that his name was Alexi, but that's all anyone knew about him. So I came home and threw myself into my work and found out a little while later that I was pregnant. I told my dad and he cleaned himself up so he could help me. Lanie and the Captain were the only others that I told. I took an extended 'vacation' and had an amazing little boy."

"Nikolai." He said with a small smile.

I nod. "Yeah, Nikolai."

We look over at the door after hearing a slight knock. My father stood in the doorway with a relieved look on his face. I tried to look beyond him to catch a glimpse of Nikolai, but didn't see him. At my anxious, questioning look he replied, "He's sitting in the waiting room with Lanie. I wanted to make sure that you were awake before I brought him in. I told him that you had gotten hurt and were going to stay here for a little while, I didn't say anything about you getting shot though." There was a slight pause before he asked, "Does he…"

"Yeah," I replied. "I just told him after I called you, it was only fair. He needed to know, it was time." I tried to give my father a reassuring smile but I wasn't sure if I succeeded.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note: Wow, firstly I never expected one of my stories to ever get this many favorties/follows/reviews. It's awesome. Secondly I'm not sure where this story is going to go. I got the idea last year as I myself laid in a hospital bed unable to move for three days, after three months of therapy I felt like I could kinda relate to where Beckett was coming from. Thirdly I may not be the most consistent poster, but I will try my best. This is my first Castle and multi-chapter fic. So please be kind, but at the same time feel free to give me advice too. Fourthly I do not have a beta so all mistakes are my own. And while I'm at it I don't own any thing from Castle. The only thing I own so far in this story is Nikolai.**

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"Can I see him now? Please." I looked at my father, who looked over at Castle. I too looked over at Castle and back to my father who nodded yes. This time when I smiled I know that it was a real one. Castle moved closer to my bed and gave me a quick kiss to my forehead, before starting to the door. I called out to him and asked where he was going. He tried to tell me that he was going to give me some time alone with my son. "Castle, Rick I want you to meet him. It's time that you guys met. Remember what you made me promise about Alexis? I want the same from you. If something were to happen to me I want you to look after Nikolai."

"Of course Kate, I'll do it. But you have to know that nothing is going to happen to you, I won't let it." He stated with such seriousness that for a moment he no longer looked like the man I had come to love. He came back over to the bed just as the door opened again. This time my beautiful little boy came running into the room.

He skidded to a stop as soon as he caught sight of Rick, and looked up to the bed where I laid. "Mommy, who is this man, do you work with him?" he did not come any closer, as he seemed to seize up Rick. Rick looked at me and gave me a questioning look.

"This is Rick Castle, little man. He is my partner. Remember how I tell you about him in our stories?" Nikolai nodded his head and came over to the far side of the bed so that I was between him and Rick. I was getting a little nervous as Rick had yet to say anything. I looked over at him to see that he was looking at Nikolai with warm eyes and a soft smile. Meanwhile Nikolai climbed up onto the chair by my bed and stood there looking down at me. I looked over at him and smiled. "How are you little one? I missed you."

"I missed you too mommy. Papa said that you got hurt at the thingy for Uncle Roy. He said that you had to stay here for a while and that I wouldn't get to see you. Is it true, am I not gonna not see you for a long time? I don't want to mommy, I don't see you a lot anyways." I watched as Nikolai got more and more worked up about what had happened and felt torn up about not seeing him very often. I couldn't help it I was born to be a cop, but at the same time I couldn't just leave my son completely out of my life. I tried to see him often and while it was not as often as I would have liked I had not thought about what it was like for him. I decided then that when I got out of the hospital I was going to find a bigger place so that Nikolai could live with me.

"Come here little one." I said as I tried to open my arms to hold my son. My body however had other plans, as my arms failed to move. I could see my son hesitate as he instinctively knew that I couldn't move, even though he wanted nothing more than to curl up in the bed with me, "Rick, help" I asked with tears in my eyes, "Help me hold my son. Please." I looked over at him as he looked down at me.

"Kate, are you sure?" I looked over at him, and saw the conflict in his eyes. He leaned over me and said softly so that Nikolai could not hear, "I don't want to hurt you Kate and neither does he."

"I'll be fine when he's in my arms Rick. I just need my son. Once we get him settled in the bed I won't feel anything. Please I need him, I know that this is low but what if it was you in this bed and he was Alexis?"

"Alright Kate." He straightened and looked over at Nikolai who had been watching us converse. "What do you say Nikolai, want to sit with your mom on the bed?"

Nikolai looked at Rick than back at me and shook his head no. "I don't wanna hurt mommy."

I could see the tears in his eyes even as he tried to hide them. God sometime that boy was too much like me for his own good. "I'll be ok little one as soon as I have you in my arms. You won't hurt me at all."

He looked back at Rick and then down at me again. "Are you sure?" He looked over at Rick, "You won't let me hurt her will you?"

Rick looked him in the eye and responded, "Never. I would never let anything hurt your mom. I failed once but I'm going to everything I can to never let it happen again."

"Ok mommy, I'll let Mr. Rick help me up." He stood still on the chair while Rick helped me 'move' over in the bed. Then Rick walked around the bed and gently picked Nikolai up and placed him in the bed. I hid my momentary discomfort from both of them, as I inhaled the soft smell of my little man. I watched as Rick sat down in the chair that Nikolai had been standing in. I managed to stay awake long enough to see them start to talk and bond. Before I fell asleep I asked Castle to make sure that Nikolai stayed where he was, after almost never seeing him again I never wanted him from my arms again.


	3. Chapter 3

**Firstly I am SO sorry about how long it has been since I last updated this fic. I had spring break about a month ago and it threw a wrench into my whole school schedule. As a result I have not had any time to write. Unfortunately it also means that exams are just on the horizon.**

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I woke slowly again, thanks to the drugs. I made a note to talk to someone about that, too many drugs. As before when I woke up I felt my left hand was warmer than my right hand was. I looked over at my left hand and sure enough Castle was there holding my hand as he slept in that god awful chair. My right arm was held in a death grip by my son. He had somehow curled himself all around my arm, like a snake. He was sound asleep and his nose was twitching like a little rabbits. I laid there and smiled as I watched over my boys. Just then the nurse walked in and started to check my vitals.

"Excuse me", I asked. "Is there any way that I can be taken off of some of this pain medication?"

The nurse looked at me like I was crazy. "You do know that you almost died four days ago right? From a bullet to the chest, if it had been just a little more to the left you would not be here now. Trust me sweetie you want these drugs."

I just nodded; I knew that it was no use trying to talk to her. I would just wait for the doctor and ask him. I looked back over at my boys after she left the room and found myself looking into a pair of bright blue eyes, eyes that I would know anywhere after all they had only annoyed me for the last three years.

"Kate." He started. I knew where this was going already.

"Rick. Please not now, you know that I don't like any kind of drugs. I can literally _feel_ them coursing through my veins and I don't like it." I started to cry, "I don't like it Rick."

"Hey, shh Kate shh." He came forward and started to rub my hand that he still had between his own. "Kate, its ok I got you."

Nikolai started to wake up right at that moment. When he saw my tears he thought that it was his fault. "Mommy, why are you crying? What happened mommy? I hurt you didn't I mommy."

"No, no little one. You didn't hurt me, it's just the medicine that the doctors are giving me. It makes me get a little emotional. Remember that time you got sick and the doctors gave you that yucky medicine?"

"Yeah… it tasted gross and it made me itchy. I had those spots too!"

"That's right my little man, that's kinda what my medicine is doing to me." At this he looked more relaxed. He nodded his head and looked at Castle.

"Mr. Rick did you ever have a bad medicine?"

Castle looked at the both of us and answered with, "no but this one time I broke my arm and my daughter Alexis took care of me. She said I was a really bed patient cause I act like a little kid too much."


End file.
